When dealers apply for a job, they call it an “audition”…basically, you go into a casino, into a live game and the pit boss watches you deal. Earlier this week, Jesse the school owner, asked if I was ready to try, he had a friend at a casino called the Rampart that had openings. Yesterday at 3, I put on my “black and whites”, apparently the universal sign of a job audition for the dealer jobs, and went for my first audition.
The casino was a long way out…about a 30 minute drive to a really nice resort & I have to admit I was very nervous. I went in and met the pit boss and was taken to a table with 3 little old men and they were all great. The table had side bets that no one mentioned and the dealer I relieved was right behind me telling me that I was not doing things right and frankly, I froze. I dealt 2 hands before she slapped me on the back (not the usual gentle tap) and took the game back. I was stunned, thanked the pit boss for the opportunity and left. And I cried all the way home. And most of the night. I couldn’t stop crying until I finally fell asleep.
This morning I did not feel as bad but had turned my alarm off and it was about 1030. I slept awhile longer and then …I prepared to sell out. I did not go to school today…just not ready. And I applied for several jobs online. City of Las Vegas for assistant county clerk, Cox Cable as a customer service rep, a company that needed a dispatcher for limos and things, a cage cashier job at a small casino. On Monday I’m going back to the kiddie pool at school. And hopefully I can someday pass an audition somewhere.
I feel like a failure.
I guess we’ll see if anyone calls.