I don’t consider myself a perfectionist but I do like my life in order. I mean if the laundry doesn’t get done today, it will still be there tomorrow. If my bed doesn’t get made (like today) that’s ok. But there are parts of my life that I have put in a jar and put tight lids on. And while sometimes the jars keep things safe, the lids keep a lot of things out too.
I’m hard on people. I don’t remember always being this way but after some incidents where I felt taken advantage of, I’m slow to forgive. I have many acquaintances but have a hard time making new friends. I have a really hard time in crowds. I don’t know how to mingle. Basically, no one gets close. I try in some ways but it’s extremely hard for me. I’ve decided that if people don’t make an effort to interact with me, I don’t make the effort either. It’s a jar with a tight lid.
BUT I spend too much time alone. When you call me, I’ll talk you to death because sometimes I have a lot to say and no one to listen. If you invite me somewhere one on one I don’t say no unless I have something else to actually do. My sweet dad was lonely after I made him move in with me. When I needed to go somewhere he was already to go too even if he just sat in the car. It’s a great fault that I don’t know how to fix. It’s a jar with a tight lid.
I had a tough jar weekend. I cannot go into every detail but it started early with cousins from my dad’s side. Nice comfortable dinner with cousin and her husband of 40 years. And on Saturday a cousin from my mom’s side got married so I actually went to a wedding, a place full of strangers. And another cousin from mom’s side & her husband came too so go to spend time with them too. We had a meal. We went to family cemeteries. It was nice too. But while I know the first cousin very well, 2nd cousin is a very sweet virtual stranger. My sweet aunt raised wonderful, kind children and all have always been very nice to me but I have always felt out of place with them. They all have great careers and families and live an around-the-world-lives while mine is more a trip to Dallas every year. It’s me, not them.
I got back yesterday to a garage door malfunction that will be costing me money later this week.
And 16 years ago today my mom died.
The other thing that I won’t write about was very upsetting to me. Like I have not slept in the last 2 nights. It and the garage door are jars that have been knocked over and things have spilled out. And today I had trouble dealing with spilled jars.
If I did not leave the house for the rest of the week I’d probably be ok. And I always land on my feet. So I’ll jet my jars lined up again soon, lids tightened, labels facing forward.
I’m not a dog person. Or a pet person. I’m not horrible. I don’t kick them or anything but I also don’t like them jumping on me, licking me, following me around or looking at me. To be fair, I’m barely a people person. I like a discussion. I don’t mind a 10 second hug by someone I like. But let’s not get too touchy-feely.
I just spent the weekend dog sitting. And he’s a nice dog but he jumps on me, licks me, follows me around and looks at me. All of the time. He wants to sit on the couch looking at me. He jumps on the bed I’m sleeping on and won’t get off until I push him off and then I have to put him out in the living room to stop him from doing it again. My cousin left me a list of “commands he knows”. He should have written “none”.
I know he misses his people, who will be home tomorrow. For Buddy and I it’s going to be a really good day.
I’m really not a picture person. I mean I like looking at pictures but that is about it. I have some pictures of my family, in frames, but not many. I did not grow up in a picture family. I grew up in the old days when you had to buy and develop film. It was expensive for us at the time. I have one picture of my big sisters & me that was not taken in the front yard. My uncle took it. Cathy & Jo were probably 13 & 12, I was 2. All other professional pictures were school pictures. I had to take a head shot last year for my business card and that may have been the first professional shot since I graduated from high school in 1975. Now we live in an era where if a parent pulls out their phone, their 2 year olds strike a pose. I take pictures on vacation to put on Facebook but don’t really ever look at them again. But for some reason, I feel like I should save them. Hmmm.
This week I had a training class on Google Drive and part of that is Google Pictures, where the pics live on a cloud that I don’t understand. I’m lead to believe that by setting this up all of my cell phone pictures & pictures I save on my computer go to the cloud and I should be able to delete from phone & pc and the cloud carries them. I know I’m doing something wrong but the cell pictures are on the app on my phone and the pc pics are on the app on my PC.
Part of me hopes all of the pictures will meet someday on the same cloud. But all in all I’d probably be ok if they didn’t. I have a few pictures in a box & last year I made a picture book of my mom & dad & aunts & uncles for my niece & nephew. But what exactly would they do with all of my pictures? Not a sentimental bone in either of their bodies. My pictures are just one more thing they will have to throw out when I go. And I HATE it when people send me pictures of their kids. I’m never sure what they expect me to do with them. So if I know you, no offense, but don’t send me pictures.
I guess we’ll see what happens if I ever need to post another picture.
I am a long time Rangers fan and my favorite player of all time is Rangers 3rd baseman Adrian Beltre. Always has a smile on his face and has more fun playing baseball than anyone ever on the planet. Today was possibly his last game. He’s 39 years old and has had some tough injuries the last couple of years. He has not said he’s retiring for sure but all of the interviews seem to be pointing there. I saw one interview today, have read several on Twitter and I have cried every time. It’s irrational. I don’t even know the man. But I know that the Rangers and 3rd base will never again be the same. If I could same something to him, I’d thank him for giving me joy every time I watched him play. And I’d tip my hat right back if I had one. I may have to wear my Beltre jersey this week.
Update: On November 20, he made his retirement official. Happy for him, heartbroken for us. #ThanksAB!!
Ah, fair week!! Corn dogs, strawberry lemonade & Methodist fried pies. Yum. And usually one fair show. The radio stations give tickets away and our oldies station sponsored Gary Puckett & the Union Gap. Their first hit was in 1968, just a smidge before my musical awakening but certainly I have heard most of their stuff all of my life. There were a couple of songs that I did not know they had recorded but mainly I and everyone around me knew all the words. As did Gary. The voice was a little weaker than I remember but since he’s been singing for 50 years that’s to be expected.
We had senate hearings on Thursday before the concert where a Supreme Court nominee has been accused of inappropriate contact with a 15 year old girl when he was in high school. I have to say when Gary was singing ‘Young Girl’ I thought, well, no Supreme Court for him!! And frankly, the song was a little creepy when he was 25 and now he’s probably 75 so the creepiness tripled. But again, we both knew all the words and I sang along. The song is still catchy if you don’t think too hard about it. Somewhere the is someone who would tell me I should be offended.
I tried to take pictures and from where I was sitting I had a black suit and a big blob of light where a head should be. I found a picture on Twitter & contacted the photographer to see if I could use the picture here. She not only said yes but was generous enough to send me additional pictures. So thank you Jill Kerns for sharing your pictures with me.
We made it!! I have always wanted to visit NYC and finally we did it. Last month now since its now officially October 1. I have neglected my new blog but this seems like a good place to start.
It takes a long time to get there from here. Lubbock to Dallas for a 3 hour layover, then a 3 hour flight to La Guardia airport. I have to admit I was terrified that I’d get lost. I was meeting my niece who was coming in from Phoenix on another airline but it turns out it was amazingly easy to find her & our cab to our hotel. The cab driver says they are building a new airport across the street so I’m sure if I ever go again, it will be way more complicated.
First night in, we checked in and off we went…to the subway!! We walked about 4 blocks from our hotel and took the train to Times Square. It was flashy and crowded and altogether pretty cool, We had our only icky meal at a diner there. $20 sandwiches. Pretty gross. But we walked & looked and probably photobombed half the tourists on the street as they took selfies. And spoke in 200 languages we did not understand.
On Tuesday, we had rain. Lots and lots of rain. But we got to see the tour the Empire State Building and Radio City Music Hall before we completely drowned. We had bought a City Pass (a really good deal) so we got into these expensive tours for free, relatively speaking. Basically, we were not forking over any cash on the spot. We got to Empire State pretty early so the line was relatively short. They moved us along pretty quickly and everyone was very friendly. There were armed soldiers in flack jackets carrying machine guns and that bothered me but I guess it’s the world we lived in. The very top is 102 floors but the observation deck is on 85. We did not pay extra to go up to 102. Cannot imagine we would have seen more. The view is breathtaking. That is kind of an over the top word but in this case it fits.
Radio City Music Hall was next. What a beautiful place. We had a very enthusiastic and knowledgeable tour guide who walked us up and down 5 stories of stairs and we all lived to tell the tale. The lobby was beautiful, the hall itself is so majestic. I know it’s been restored but they did a great job and it was easy to imagine movie premieres back in the 30’s & 40’s and women in evening gowns and men in tuxes. We got to see the gears that make the stage work and the lights and a little mini stage that does everything the big stage does. We saw practice rooms and a private apartment the original owner had that was vintage. There is an autograph book there with signatures of everyone from Mariah Carey to Richard Nixon to Walter Pigeon (I think I noticed him because he wrote big). So much history. And we met the Rockette of the day whose job it is to pose for pictures that can be purchased at the end of the tour. Very enjoyable tour. Oh, and you have to be 5’6″ to be a Rockette so neither my niece or I qualified. We would have made great Rockettes.
Also on Tuesday, I saw my very first Broadway show!
Wednesday was Central Park day. We did a walking tour that showed TV and Movie locations. Basically, this tour guide/actress told us what movie was shot in which part of the park. Beautiful day and we had a nice walk. It is really a beautiful place, full of happy people and kids. The coolest part for me was Strawberry Fields, the part of the park that is dedicated to John Lennon. Our guide told us the City did not think John Lennon was worthy of the space but that Yoko gave them $1 million reasons why it was a good idea. And people from 128 countries wrote letters supporting John Lennon. Before the donation, the space had been earmarked for a dedication to Bing Crosby. The site is across the street from the Dakota Apartments where Yoko still lives & she can look out over the site. I know it was their home but it would be eerie to me to go in the gate he was murdered at.
Also, we went to the 911 Memorial. I took few pictures. Everyone was very respectful. Very eerie. Lady on plane going up said she & husband had been up there and her husband’s ex-wife’s husband had died on 9-11. She said they went to find his name on the wall around one of the 2 fountains. They were discussing how to find his name and looked down and there it was. She said it was chilling. I can imagine.
Thursday was Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island, Brooklyn & water taxi day. And my second Broadway play. And I can almost guarantee that the Mormon Church is not impressed. And Cameron Diaz was sitting 2 rows behind me.
Friday was Atlantic City day. A couple of hours on a Greyhound, a few hours of losing money, a look at the Boardwalk and back on the bus.
On Saturday, we were pretty much done, both in terms of sights we wanted to see and mentally. We walked 5th Avenue & had a nice breakfast and dinner. Sunday was another long travel day. It was a great trip but I was glad to head back to less people and my little home. I was excited to share this with my beautiful niece.
Now I can’t remember what day but we also ate at Ellen’s Stardust Diner. Food was ok but the wait staff sings all day. All are wanting to be on Broadway & the manager said that every Broadway show has someone in it that used to work there. I have a friend who works with stage people and he says that some nights after the shows the performers go to Ellen’s and perform. We did not see anyone famous there. I probably would not have noticed them if they were there.